For the second time...

14 Dec 11, Wednesay



A double blow indeed.
I still remember the first time I was sick and He didn't care, we had a huge quarrel.
I thought ALL that was disputed during then would have already taught him a good lesson.
But turns out, many of my friends are right.
A leopard will never change its spots.



I tried every ways and means (even to the extend of changing myself) to prove them wrong.
That you are someone who will learn from mistakes and not repeat them again.
But I'm so wrong.
Right from the beginning, I was the only fool.
When everyone else can see so clearly, I'm still severely blinded.
And I have no one to blame except for myself.
They tried to warn me.
Just that I chose to believe in you.



Why?? Why???
Why can't you just prove them wrong for once???
Prove that you are still worth that little bit of trust!
But everytime, you just choose to prove them right!
I really don't know how long this can last.
I really don't know how long I can last.
But you know very well that one day... one fine day... when I can't take it anymore I will leave right? You know right???
And if you know this, then why will you still allow things to happen???
Am I really so unimportant???



In my previous post, I mentioned that there's a reason why some women turned into a materialistic & practical woman eventually.
But I really do not wish to end up in this state in future.
If I can have all the money in the world but not the love of my life, then where's the happiness in spending them?
One day, you will realise that you can be rich but you won't be happy...Not if you lost the woman who once loved you whole-heartedly and she's not there to share your success anymore.You can "buy" women.But not Love.You can "buy" momentary happiness.But not lifelong bliss.A person cannot just have $$$ in his agenda.He's got to have a complete family too.You can't bring your fortune into the coffin.And how many Lifetimes does one have to waste most of his time on earning $?I'm not saying that $ isn't important.But you can't be spending 100% of your time on work isn't it?You are a Human not a Robot.You need a Life too isn't it?You need a Balance in Life.



In relationships, its always the "cheating" partner that is in the wrong.
Same logic as in a car accident.
Whoever hits you is at fault.
But have you wondered why do someone cheat on their partners?
Is it because the gal can no longer satisfy the guy?Or the guy is just a typical Casanova?
Or is it because the guy stops showing concern to the gal?Or that the gal is born to be a slut?
PLENTY of reasons (or excuses) if you ask me.
Which is why there are so many cheating cases, guys turning gays and gals turnin lesbians.But it all boils down to one question.
"Is it so difficult for a MAN to be 100% truthful & faithful to his WOMAN?"



I know I sound emo.. I am a lil actually..
Perhaps under the influence of the fact that its the time of the month..
But certain "coincidences" really worsened this period of time for me.
Business, sickness, loneliness etc.I am someone who needs alot of attention.If you want me to give you the same attention, I will.Provided if you can give me the same.And guys always have the ability to let the gal believed that he will.All the daily smses/sweet calls/dinner talks etc.Happens fast and expires fast too.Only to know its just an empty promise as always.Why do guys like to give empty promises to women?I'm guessing its the same reason why women (knowing they're empty promises) will still believe their men over and over again.The answer is "HOPE".Men hope that one day these empty promises will be fulfilled.Women hope for the same thing.Complicated.



A friend once brought up an interesting topic.
"Why must Humans be so complicated?"
I totally agree.
Why ah???
Why can't we think as simple as we are during the pre-historian age?
All it takes is just one bloody idiot who thinks he is more intelligent than others to wanna improve on human's way of life to screw the entire system and make us who we are today.
Evolution. Mutation.
Whatever you call it.
If I have a choice? I rather be an animal.
Live short but live happily.




It's tough to be ME.I'm smiling but I'm hurting inside.



Love,
Missy B